


Summertime in Heaven

by JustBukharin



Category: Las Lindas (Webcomic)
Genre: Breasts are the Best 2, Character list will be expanded, F/F, F/M, Funtime in Paraiso, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:08:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24980587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustBukharin/pseuds/JustBukharin
Summary: It's summertime and we're stuck in Paraiso. You know what they say: "If you're in Rome, do as the Romans." Kind of Breast are the Best 2, but unofficial. And incredibly lewd. Lots of lewd is planned. Suggestions are much accepted!
Kudos: 2





	1. To Kidnap or to Not Kidnap

**Chapter 1: To kidnap or to not kidnap**

I can’t help but hate myself for waking up this early in the morning.

To be fair, it wasn’t something I had decided by my own volition. Or at least not because of plans I had for today that needed me to wake up at six in the morning!

Summertime had started… yesterday. I was mostly free from my usual burdens and I was happily stuck at home with only my own hobbies to keep me entertained for the remainder of the next three months.

I had planned to wake up at 9, but the loud noises coming from various devices in the house turning off as the power suddenly went out. I stared at the dim-light coming from my phone, the little thing having been set to charge by the bedside while I was sleeping.

Groaning, I stepped off the bed with a massive unwillingness to deal with whatever had happened, but I had to do it considering that everyone here at home was still sleeping. I was the only light-sleeper and… now I had to check what went wrong.

The first thing I did was to change out of my sleepwear. There was no reason to wander around the house with my Pajama, and I really needed to get out of those garbs before the cold truly settled in my brain.

I put on a dark half-sleeved t-shirt with a Dark Souls theme, a pair of gray pants that reached down slightly below my ankles and my usual light-blue sandals. Stretching a little bit and holding a traitorous yawn from leaving my mouth, I started to make my way towards the door, opening it as I wandered to the end of the long hallway that connected all the rooms of the house. The switchboard was on the other side, and it took me a couple of seconds to calmly reach for it.

I gave it a glance, then frowned. Everything seemed to be fine there. All the switches were turned up which meant that the problem wasn’t connected to it. But with that possibility crossed out by the possible problems that caused the power outage, I groaned at the mere thought that the issue might be related to something happening with the outdoor generator.

Picking one of the flashlights that had been put near the entrance door in case of emergencies, I proceeded to silently check outside. I stopped for a moment, grimacing over the fact that the sun had barely roused and everything was covered in shadows. 

I started to shiver a little bit when I felt a gust of cold wind reminding me that the temperature here had yet to catch up with the wave of heat the news had been sprouting for some time now.

Without wasting too much time thinking about the consequences as I really didn’t want to catch a cold in these stupid circumstances, I resumed my walking and soon I found myself turning the corner outside the frontal gates of home to where the outdoor generator was.

It wasn’t the generator itself, but I had this tendency to call the little panel connected it as such since I wanted to stuck with that name. I don’t know why, the name just seemed ‘fancier’ than ‘outdoor power panel’.

I stopped in front of it, leaning forward as I checked for any issues with the switches there. Then I looked at the fuses and… there was a switch turned down.

...Odd.

In a normal case of blackout, all the switches were meant to automatically turn down. I tensed a little at this discovery, part of me suddenly bringing up the possibility that this wasn’t a simple power outage.

But rather something more sinister.

I tried to skeptically rebuke that stupid theory. I really couldn’t see anyone trying to do anything like this and… surely this thought was the fruit of a sleepy mind put at unease.

Finally, I let out a yawn while I moved to flicker the switch up. Just as I leaned back at the sight of the panel returning to life, I froze as I felt footsteps approaching from behind.

Now, what kind of justification I had to debunk the whole ‘ambush’ theory? None. I tensed up again and I slowly turned around to see who was there and…

I blinked as I found myself looking at someone I was most familiar with.

Pale blue eyes stared impassively at me, just a hint of warmth managing to leave through those orbs. Her voluptuous form was comfortably contained with the short plum jacket, the black shirt with ‘Prime Model’, and a pair of dark-blue short pants that reached to her knees.

Many would have jumped up in fright at her sight, mostly because of her seemingly cold stare… and the fact that she wasn’t human. The correct term was ‘Bear Prime’, but after almost a year of knowing her because of her mother, I could happily address her by her name.

“[Naerie](https://i.ibb.co/KV8ZmWZ/Naerie.png),” I muttered with a nervous smile plastered on my face. “Buon-” Wait no, I need to switch to English. Damn it, brain. “G-Good morning! I wasn’t expecting a visit from you.”

“Good morning, John,” The girl muttered blankly, offering me a graceful nod. “I’m sorry for coming at your home unannounced and… for tricking you outside with that.”

She pointed her finger at the panel, and I frowned at her words.

“Was it something your mother asked or-”

“Actually, it’s something I decided by myself,” The redhead interrupted politely. “But yes, it’s still related to something mother is… doing as of now. Which requires your immediate presence.”

Despite the overly-calm tone that was usual from the girl in front of me, I couldn’t help but feel like something was immensely wrong with that statement.

“What did she do?”

There was silence at first and… Naerie stared away from my face. My frown deepened.

“Naerie, I’m not mad with what you did to lure me out of my house,” I started with a kind tone. And I meant it as there was no genuine damage to the panel, nor to the devices inside. “But if Ambar is planning something big, and you need my help about it, then I can only think that this ‘plan’ has to do with me.”

I sighed as the young woman merely nodded at that guess. I made a couple of steps towards her and she looked back at me. I stared up, slightly aware of the fact she was a couple centimeters taller than me.

“Does it have to do with that whole ‘Paraiso’ stuff? The fact that she wants me to come there too for this summer?”

She gave another silent nod, and I blinked at the fact my early guess was correct. So I had been right to worry about Ambar trying to do something about today… especially with yesterday’s odd behavior while we were sorting out that chapter.

Sighing again, I smiled at Naerie. “And I suppose she’s making some overtly elaborate plans about it.”

“That’s… quite correct,” The girl admitted slowly. “But… I know you don’t really mind it.”

“I did promise her that I would come. So I don’t see why she would think I would bail from that.”

“Mother is... unsure if she will be able to respect her part of the deal,” The Bear Prime explained, making me flinch at that very possibility of getting targeted by Ambar’s quirky ways to draw amusement out of people. I really wasn’t looking forward to that. “Which is why she’s hoping you will break your part first.”

...Smart, but I couldn’t see how kidnapping me was going to do anything about it.

…

Unless she wanted me to struggle during the kidnapping and call that my own unwillingness to go to Paraiso. And like Hell I was going to let her pull that sneaky move on me.

“And you came here to… help me?”

She didn’t answer that, but I could see her tense up at that comment. My smile widened and she almost melted as I pulled her in a quick hug. 

“Thank you, Nae,” I muttered happily. “Like really, you’re a life-saver.”

“Mother will be angry about this,” The redhead reminded and I sighed. 

“And I will be angry at her if she gets angry at you,” I shot back softly, giving a final tight squeeze before releasing her from the embrace. “So don’t worry about it.”

She almost smiled. I could see the edges of her lips coming close to twitch upward.

Gah, I really want to see her pretty smile! And I feel so close now!

Before I could ponder some more about that idyllic sight, Naerie hummed and looked at her wrist.

“We should get going,” She mused with a hint of anxiety. “Mother will be on the move in a few minutes from now. And I saw her talk with some Knights about a ‘rescue mission’.”

So that’s how she was planning to kidnap me? Cheeky bear, I hope your Crest is ready to-

Oh?!

My brain went blank as I saw a pure form of white condense in a humanoid frame. It took it mere instants to finally assume a coherent body and… he blinked at me. And I blinked back at him.

Why did he look so similar to me?

“I managed to get this from Mother before coming here. She wanted to offer it as a gift to apologize _after_ the kidnapping,” Naerie answered as she took off the small wristband with the yellow gem in there. “He will be your spirit from now on.”

“Is there something that Ambar isn’t planning about?” I found myself questioning, only for the Nano-zell spirit in front of me to chuckle mirthfully at my query.

“I wonder about that myself, chief. Lady Ambar can be incredibly creative and resourceful when she wants to,” The guy agreed with a jovial tone. Then he reached his hand out as to shake with mine. “By the way, I’m Galileo.”

“Nice to meet you, Gali. I suppose you know who I am.”

“John S.M. Bukharin,” The spirit quickly said with a smile. “Age 22, Writer and… single.”

I facepalmed at that last comment. “That was unfair.”

“Why not?” He quipped with a frown. “We’re going in a place where skinship is just a daring must.”

“Yeah but-”

“Plus, there are plenty of single ladies that could be swooned to your side,” Gali continued with his explanation. “And you wouldn’t need to have a serious commitment with most of those!”

…

I glanced at Naerie, and I frowned when she looked a little bit uneasy herself about what she just heard. Why I felt like she knew about his personality already.

Still, I returned my attention to the Nano-zell spirit and I sighed. “I will… think about it. Also, Gali, are you the one that will take us to our destination?”

“That’s right! And before we go, should I leave a message to your parents so that there’s no issue about it?”

Now, that was something I had almost forgotten about. While I had been telling them that I was going to spend the summer away with some friends, I shouldn’t be leaving home without something to explain my sudden disappearance.

“Just send a message to mom that my friends picked me up and we were already going.”

He nodded, his smile staying plastered on his face as I soon started to feel energy coursing around my body. I saw Naerie glowing in a white light, something that was happening to me too and... we suddenly warped away from that simple road.

It was strange, almost unexpected. Nausea swelled from my stomach at the sudden shift, but the malaise was easy to keep down, and I soon realized that we were now standing in the establishment reception area.

The place was filled with Primes of various kind and races, but I could easily recognize various individuals I had seen before. There were some of the former students at Prism Uni, I could see Knights wandering around, and… I could see the Crests and their families.

I was awed by the sight, almost forgetting about what my current objective was. A quick tug by the sleeve from Naerie was enough to remind me that I had to ‘greet’ someone before actually taking a stroll around.

I spotted my target a couple of meters away from where we were. Hair as red as Naerie’s, her fur was slightly darker than her daughter’s as its shade was a darker brown with just a circular patch that was fairly light. She was wearing white bikini bra and bottom, plus a see-through green sarong.

[Ambar ](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/laslindas/images/1/1a/Ambar_Nyan.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130831220344)was distracted, blissfully unaware of what I had planned for her as I prepared to strike. The High Prime was busy talking with two familiar individuals that looked slightly older than how I last saw them.

[Joy Ravenhurst](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/laslindas/images/0/06/Kemono-Cafe-Chalodillo-Las-Lindas-Joy.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20200504023909), young knight and daughter to the Crest of Love, was wearing an open light-blue shirt that revealed that she was wearing a yellow bikini underneath, while a pair of short pants covered her bottom. 

She was the only one paying attention to what the Crest of Wisdom was saying to them, while her partner, [Drake](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/laslindas/images/f/f3/Kemono-Cafe-Chalodillo-Las-Lindas-Drake.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20200504025129), was happily looked around at the presence of some bountiful women to try and flirt to. 

The Narakhan was wearing an open gray shirt and nothing underneath… except for quite the daring swimwear considering it was a slipper-version.

I took the first step towards them, but soon found myself stopped by a small, giggling missile crashing and latching onto my leg. Looking down, I cracked a smile at the little kid grinning back at me.

“Buka!”

I snorted, crouching down a little to lift off the little bundle of joy that was Naerie’s little brother.

“Hello there, buddy,” I greeted with a hint of mirthfulness. He smiled happily as he straddled his tiny hands at my shirt. “Are you excited to be here?”

He nodded enthusiastically. “Papa’s here too!” The adorable Bear Prime added while turning to point at the approaching white-haired man. I nodded as the father reached us. 

“[Pulsar](https://i.ibb.co/Xsn3qcq/Pulsar-Civ.jpg), hello.”

“Good to see you too, kid,” The Crest of Ice greeted back with a dazzling smile. Soon the man’s attention was directed at his daughter. “Naerie.”

“[Hi, dad,](https://i.ibb.co/b3h494M/Naerie-Smile.jpg)” She said, finally offering a smile at her father.

I felt blood rushing at my face as I was bestowed with the cutest sight ever. It was bamboozling, almost mesmerizing. Sirio giggled at my little blush, and soon started to pinch at my cheeks.

I snorted, hugging him closely. “Don’t you think your big sister has a pretty smile, Siri?”

The boy nodded, looking happily at his older sibling. “Nae is the prettiest!”

...Gah, so cute~! My heart, my poor heart!

Pulsar soon had his stare back at me, giving me a curious look. “I thought Ambar was planning to ‘get’ you here through other means. I suppose Naerie decided to pick you up earlier… to avoid any awkward situations.”

“Yep,” I said while smiling at the redhead, the girl nodding my way. 

“By the way, I think you should move to stop her from making any chaotic messes now that you’re here,” The Crest of Ice added. “I think you can think of something amusing to get her to avoid making any kerfuffle.”

“I can try and...” I glanced at Sirio with a small smile. “Wanna prank your mama, Siri? I think it will be fun.”

His light-blue eyes widened and I almost heard a little squee coming out of him. There was no end to that cuteness.

But now it was time to counter Ambar’s plans for the first days here at the resort. I wasn’t planning to getting screwed like this by her. Nor the other way, mind you.

“Remember to always be careful. John is quite devious and will surely throw false accusations at me, which of course are all false,” The High Prime continued with her briefing as we approached. I had a curious look as Joy seemed completely taken by the woman’s words as we stood behind the Crest. “He will also try to call me forbidden names. Names that should never be mentioned to anyone in this world.”

I frowned at that, half-tempted to just address her as _that_ title with how annoying this little storytime was getting.

“But will he be strong? If you’re assigning this to knights, then that means that he is quite dangerous.”

“His words are his weapons,” Ambar specified with a faux-serious tone. “But he could also have ninjas guarding his stronghold.”

The mere mentioning of Ninjas was enough to almost sell the deal to the action-junkie, but I wasn’t really planning to let this crap continue any longer.

So I took a step forward, enough to draw the attention of the two knights and the confusion of the Bear Prime at the sudden diversion of their stares from her. She looked to the side, and she froze.

“Buongiorno, Ambar,” I greeted in Italian, getting a nervous look out of her. “I suppose you were so concerned about me that you were trying to send knights to find me.”

“You- You are-” Joy tried to make sense, her brain failing to easily digest what was going on.

“I’m John Bukharin, the guy that has ninjas and use words as weapons,” I presented myself with an amused tone. “And you’re Joy Ravenhurst. Tell me, do you think you will have a second round with Ayah this year?”

The mere mentioning of the Chaos Sorceress was enough to get the brave knight to sport a shocked and horrified look. I knew exactly the buttons to press, especially those related to the first and last time the two had been here in Paraiso.

“Y-You- how?”

“I mean, that would be interesting and all. By the way Drake, I bet you’re still proud for that perfect execution of the ‘Hidden Ninja Technique: Stealth Towel Snap’. Truly make it seems like Joy had instigated Ayah to react that aggressively.”

The temperature dropped several degrees. I could see the Narakhan’s mouth drop at being revealed at the prime culprit behind that little situation between his partner and his former boss.

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

He bolted. He knew that talking her out of that furious state was impossible and he tried to make use of his superior speed in the chase that soon ensued.

I stared at the two running, almost chuckling at the interesting scene I had created, but I wasn’t done just yet. My main target had yet to be addressed after all!

“Ambar-”

“The weather is nice today, ain’t it?”

“You were trying to-”

“And you came here so suddenly! I’m so happy you upheld your part of the deal!”

“Let me speak-”

“Siri, aren’t you happy that your big brother is here?”

“Ambar, I know what you were trying to do,” I finally had enough of that multitude of deflections. “Like really, that was mean. Even for you.”

Her jaws dropped at my words as I was bestowed with a rare ashamed look from the Bear Prime.

“It’s… I really want to have fun this time spend there.”

“You literally have a cast of people that can be used for comedy sketches,” I rebuked. “And seriously, why trying to kidnap me?”

“It’s complicated?”

“How much complicated, Lady Ambar?” Galileo finally quipped with a faux-curious tone. “Can I offer assistance about it? If it’s about numbers, I’m your Spirit!”

She frowned. “It was Naerie, wasn’t it?” The Bear Prime asked and I sighed. 

“And don’t try to get angry at her. I’m glad she did what she did,” I retorted with a huff. “Think about it. I get taken by the knights, my parents learn about what is going on- how are you going to solve that mess, _Lady_?”

“I had a plan-”

“Which doesn’t imply using the power of Wisdom to influence them?”

… 

“Okay, now I don’t have a plan about it, but I can assure you that I would’ve solved everything,” The Bear Prime reassured. “I’m not a problem-maker without being a problem-solver too.”

It wasn’t a lie. But I really didn’t want to bring my parents into this too. They wouldn’t just… react well to this all.

Maybe they would be neutral to it, but then it would be awkward to discuss about it. I couldn’t help but shiver at the kind of stares I would get from them if they discovered about this all.

“That doesn’t mean that I don’t have a reason to return the favor, and… I’ve the best way to do that.”

“And what do you plan to do, dear. We both know that I-” The woman paused, her confusion lifting up at the strange thing I was doing. “Wait, what are you whispering to Sirio?”

I moved away from the kid’s ear, sporting a faux-innocent look while the boy moved his hands to hold his mouth shut as a surprised expression appeared on his face.

“What? Oh… nothing. Just nothing.”

“Sweetie, what did Buka tell you?”

The kid shook his head, keeping silent as his mother looked more and more concerned. “Did he say something about Mama?”

He gave a nod, and a note of irritation enveloped her visage. 

“John, you know that there limits and that telling him what I think you told him would warrant quite the harsh punishment.”

I frowned at her, this time letting out some genuine confusion to trick her even more. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, you know.” She just had that undeniable certainty as she looked back at his soon.

“Sweetie, can you tell me what Buka said to you?”

The child glanced back at me and… I nodded at him, a small smile twitching on my lips.

He moved his hands away from his mouth, revealing a bright smile before he said the truth.

“Mama is most beautiful in the world!” Sirio loudly exclaimed, getting Ambar to freeze momentarily at the unexpected compliment and proclamation.

She blinked, eyes wide open as she tried to stomach what had just happened. I looked smug, but rightfully so.

Two can play in the game of feels, and I was a good player at that. She knew that, and she was reminded of it through that little scare.

One can only dread what would’ve happened to me if I had been mad enough to have Sirio call her mother ‘Hamster Lady’ from now on. That would’ve been suicidal from my part.

Finally, the Bear Prime sighed tiredly and nodded. “That was quite a fright you gave me, John and,” She smiled as she moved to pick up the kid off my hold. “And that was a very nice compliment. Mama is happy.”

The boy giggled and snuggled closer in his mom’s breasts. Her swimwear moved a little bit and… I saw a little more skin than usual.

“Something got your attention, author?”

I looked away, but that little red hue on my face screwed with my attempt to appear indifferent at the sight. She was just that beautiful.

Just as I prepared to protest that kind of teasing, our attention was diverted away as we noticed people scrambling to look at the figures descending from the near staircase.

Accompanied by two of her maids, the owner of Paraiso Island descended. Wearing a curious blue dress that offered sight over her cleavage and to her legs, [Messiah ](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/laslindas/images/f/f3/Kemono-CAfe-Messiah-Las-Lindas-Chalodillo-Wikia.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20200328051910)looked particularly happy, but politely calm as she approached us. 

The Red Panda Prime was unique compared to others of her kind. But it wasn’t her smooth blonde long-hair or her long fluffy tail that made her stand out.

It was the pair of angelic wings coming from her upper back.

“Greetings, my honored guests! I’m Messiah and I welcome you to my Paraiso. I wish for your stay to be a pleasant one, filled with fun and fair games… but also of lovely rendezvous among lovers and friends,” She started to introduce, her tone so calm and formal that I almost blinked at the strange mix I was listening to. “Remember that Paraiso is a safe haven, and to not feel bashful during your stay here. Still, violence is forbidden among guests, and your discretion is adviced.”

I blinked, and then I realized that the woman was really approaching us. She glanced at Ambar, giving her a careful nod before turning her attention at me.

“Mr. Bukharin, Lady Ambar told me much about you,” The owner of the island muttered. “Good things.”

I nodded. “Messiah, I’ve heard well about you too. I hope my presence here will not cause any issues.”

“I don’t think it will,” The young woman assured with a pleasant smile. “While the rules were fairly strict about male guests a few years ago, now the restrictions have lessened to a point where this resort accept everyone in there.”

“That’s good to hear.”

And I sure was ready to enjoy my stay in this curious resort. Hopefully, I wasn’t going to get screwed by fate itself considering the fan-service that had struck the place last time.

_**Hopefully I wasn’t going to be yanked in any of that stuff.** _

\--------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d-------------d-d-d-d------------

**AN**

**Spoiler alert! Stuff will happen.**

**But yes, here we are with this little irregularly-updated surprise I had mentioned!**

**I hope ya’ll ready for the lemons that will ensue from this point onward ‘cause there will be lots of lemons. This is non-canon to the stories I had written, so I’ve carte blanche about it all.**

**Prepare for some lemonade, fellow degenerates!**

**Suggestions are accepted as the lemons will not be centering only the MC. I accept** _**mostly** _ **everything (that is not extreme in any shape or form).**

**And now I leave you before Ambar discovers I did an AN without her. That would be tragic!!**


	2. How to get a (fuck)buddy

**Chapter 2: How to get a (fuck)buddy**

“I’m still surprised that you actually went through with that promise.”

I sighed, leaning on the wall behind me as I addressed my interlocutor’s skeptical tone with a shrug.

“Trust me, Shin. I’m partly surprised myself… but then again, I didn’t have much to do in these few months.”

[Shin Aryoko](https://i.ibb.co/ZhcQJHN/Shin.png), White Tiger Prime with blond hair, green eyes, 22, Naerie’s boyfriend, and… kind of a trustworthy friend in this uncharted territory, nodded at my response.

The situation wasn’t the best I could’ve imagined, but I guess things could’ve been much worse than this. Especially since Ambar wasn’t around to prank and tease me.

Once we had concluded the check in with proper documentation, the guests were divided in two large rooms by the staff. Guys and gals were split and set in these different places.

I soon found myself stuck with people that hardly knew about me. People that were either strong, short-tempered, or just overly-protective over certain girls (most of the cases their daughters or wives). I remember that Pulsar had once mentioned to me how he had brought me up during a discussion or two with the other Crests, but I really wasn’t sure how I was meant to deal with some of those.

Sure, I could try and make some effort with [Minos](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/laslindas/images/3/3c/Kemono_Cafe_Minos_Las_Lindas_Chalodillo_Wikia.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20200328042705). The guy looked fairly chill, keeping himself distracted with a conversation with [Miles ](https://i.ibb.co/9p1jrff/Miles.jpg)and [Randal ](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/laslindas/images/b/bc/Kemono-Cafe-Randal-Las-Lindas-Wikia.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20200328044554)on the other side of the room.

I noticed [Idward ](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/laslindas/images/d/de/Kemono-Cafe-Chalo-Las-Lindas-ID.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20200505030523)spending some words with [Sem](https://i.ibb.co/p0KZjDq/Sem.png), the Crest of Death, about history and writing books while Pulsar himself was cracking a couple of jokes much to [Howl](https://i.ibb.co/M9JjbwC/Howl.png)’s dismay. Despite the Crest of Darkness’ infamous title the guy just had no grasp about teasing.

I almost pitied him, but then again, I wasn’t certainly in a good position myself. Shin looked particularly uneasy himself in that crowded room, but he seemed happy to have someone to talk to. Just like I was with him.

“By the way, I’ve heard that you and Naerie had been having some fun dates,” I hummed with a small grin. “I bet things are perfect in heaven.”

“They are… incredibly good,” He admitted with a nervous smile. “But she can get quite… inquisitive at bed.”

“I can see her doing that,” I agreed calmly, holding back the little fact that I had seen that happen.

Gali giggled at my little comment, eliciting a confused look from the White Tiger and awkward one from me.

If only Shin knew how much acknowledged I was in everyone’s sex life. He would be horrified at first, then curious… possibly even ‘inquisitive’ at the idea of getting some more insight in people’s lives.

He might be a good guy, but curiosity was just there to press him to be ‘naughty’ about that eventuality.

Gali was there to offer minor snippets. Nothing too impressive or dominant within the conversation, but it was more than enough to make his presence clear within that small ‘safe bubble’.

It wasn’t like I didn’t want to talk with other people, but I was really unsure how to approach any of those without miserably point out what I knew about their private lives.

The power of ‘pseudo-omnipotence’ were already starting to bite my poor ass.

Just as he looked ready to rekindle the discussion with another topic, Shin stopped to give a surprised look as he noticed someone advancing from my other side. I slowly turned to see who was coming closer, but I tensed up as I felt a strong hand reach for my shoulder.

“How are things going, son?”

I finally got a proper look of the ‘intruder’, relaxing a little as I recognized him quite quickly. [Bengala](https://i.ibb.co/fvTtNxw/Bengala.png), the Crest of Courage and Shin’s father. 

“It’s… fine. I hadn’t expected that we were going to be split like this but I guess I can work with this.”

“Mr. Aryoko-” I tried to address, only to be met with a sheepish look from the Tiger Prime.

“No need to add ‘Mister’. I’m Bengala and… I think you’re Bukharin. John Bukharin.”

I gave a quick nod. “That’s me, Si- Bengala.”

He smiled at my quick correction, offering a simple squeeze. 

“I’ve heard about you from Ambar. She seems quite taken by the fact you’re her favorite tease toy.”

I deflated a little at that description.

“But,” The man added readily. “She seemed rather fond of you too as a good kid. You two are friends, right?”

“I’ve met him during at visit at Lady Ambar’s mansion,” Shin replied with a determined look. “John is a close friend to me.”

“That’s good to hear,” His father nodded happily. “And I suppose what Ambar said about your little hobby is true.”

“Depends on which hobby she mentioned.”

Bengala chuckled at that, patting my back at the little joke. It was more of an assumption that she knew me beyond the mere writing career.

“Good one, but I was talking about that story-making one,” The man reiterated. “Also, I bet Gracie would love to make your acquaintance if that was the case.”

I frowned. “Mrs. Ravenhurst?”

“Oh, you know about her already? But yes. On her free time she’s usually busy compiling the tales of her exploration in Neo-Earth,” The Tiger Prime described. “She was hesitant about releasing these books because… she thought her status could’ve influenced possible readers.”

I nodded at that, knowing that it was a good deduction from how Carmesi had developed a top fitness-centered organization from her own reputation as the Crest of Fire in the last century.

“Did she try with a pseudonym?”

“I’m not well-versed in the matter, but I know someone that can answer more about it,” Bengala answered, soon dragging me across the room and right towards…

[Kayin Ravenhurst](https://i.ibb.co/ncDJwjW/Kayin2.jpg). Grace’s husband and Dragon Knight.

“Bengala. Long time, no see,” The dark-haired Coyote Prime greeted mirthfully, his green-eyed stare alternating between the Crest, me and Shin. “And I see that you got someone on you.”

Another pat on the back, and I was forced to hold back a grunt. I was really starting to feel a little bit of burn at how strongly he was delivering those.

“Meet John Bukharin, the kid Ambar mentioned a while ago.”

The Knight’s eyes widened in recollection and he nodded at me. “I remember. Nice to meet you, I’m Kayin Ravenhurst.”

“Likewise, Mr. Ravenhurst-”

“Kayin is fine, young man,” He interjected and I was starting to get a clear understanding that none here liked the formality. At least, not as much as I was providing this early on.

“We were talking about Grace’s interest in writing. Ambar told me that John here has quite the passion about that stuff too,” Bengala explained. “We were talking about it, and he seemed interested about the unpublished books-”

“Oh… that.”

I noticed the grimace suddenly appear on the Coyote’s face and I felt like I was going to walk on a minefield.

“Is that a… bad topic?”

“Oh no, it’s… it’s just that Gracie can be quite **excited** about writing,” He confessed without hesitation. “Ever since she settled down in New Boothbay, writing became a substitute to her thirst for proper adventuring.”

That made some sense. Ever since she stopped going around the globe with Minos, I was actually surprised she hadn’t been feeling nostalgic about going in journeys across the planet. But now that I was getting this kind of answer, I knew how she was coping with it.

“From what I understand she had plenty of material for her books. It’s kind of a waste if she’s truly unable to publish any of those.”

“Trust me, I understand that it’s quite a saddening thought but… there have been some attempts to deal with this, and not much came from those.”

“What about pseudonyms?” I inquired calmly. “Surely you’ve checked to see if that could work.”

That was one of the easiest solutions, so I expected a quick response to my proposal to dismiss it as a silly thing.

…

Oddly enough, Kayin looked mildly surprised and quite embarrassed as soon as he started to think about it.

I frowned and… waited for a while for an answer to both my suggestion AND the strange reaction I was receiving from the guy.

…

“That could… work.”

Bengala laughed at that deflated answer, while his son merely smiled at the amusing revelation.

My frown deepened, while my lips twitched in a brief smile at that unexpected response. He looked irritated by our reactions.

“You don’t know how difficult it was to go through the paperwork. It’s not our fault we forgot about that possibility.”

“How long have you been investing in this idea?”

He didn’t answer back, looking away as I had a strong suspicion that it had been quite several years since they had been thinking about that situation.

Before the conversation could’ve expanded over this awkward point, we took notice of the fact that the majority of people in the room was rallying by the only door, their attention taken by a couple of members of the staff handing out… keys.

That’s why they got us divided from the girls? Because they needed to hand out keys?

I was confused, but also incredibly uneasy at the mere thought that this could actually be an elaborate ruse. A strategy to the conclusion of a complex prank.

I didn’t have any means to avoid diving in whatever mess was waiting by my newest room. Once we all got our keys, we were led out of the room and right through the various hallways and staircases of the main building.

Shin looked a little bit wary, perhaps having taken notice of this strange and unusual process and having come to his own conclusions that this was going to be a little more convoluted than it looked like.

We were both quiet and we soon were forced to part way as he ended up finding his room earlier than I did. The large group of people that had once filled the previous large room had dwindled to less to a dozen as I finally found my suite.

Gulping nervously, I slipped the key in the simple lock and… pushed the door open. I glanced left and right before taking a proper step inside, closing the door behind me quite swiftly as I needed to cover my back for any sneaky attempts.

Two more steps, I could now see the room in its full glory. It was surprisingly bigger than I had expected considering the fact I was meant to stay there on my own.

A plasma TV, a couple of consoles with several titles stacked atop of the devices (rather unorthodox for a resort to have those for every room, but this was Paraiso), a king-sized bed, and two boxes filled with my stuff sitting by the corner near to the balcony.

I delved deeper slowly and with a guarded look. Surprises might still wait for me in the small spaces I had yet to check and… I could hear anything worth of further suspicions after a while had passed since I entered here.

…

Seems like it was safe and clear from any tricks from Ambar.

Sighing, I felt my shoulders sag a little as I took an easier posture, carefully walking up to the boxes with my thing to check for any issues in there.

“Everything seems to be in order...”

Odd. Incredibly odd and… quite unnerving. This setup just felt like a prank, and yet I couldn’t see anything that could hint at that possibility.

Why would Messiah go through that much for the sake of handling keys out? And why wouldn’t Ambar abuse this opportunity to do something more with that?

The more I pondered about it, the more I felt like I had been tricked in believing in that bad scenario. While the Crest of Wisdom could get quite petty, I couldn’t see her waste a chance like this just to frighten the hell out of me.

…

But still, the situation was fairly safe, and I had further confirmation of this when I went to check by the bathroom and found it devoid of life.

“The room is clear, boss.” Gali sighed while shaking his head. “Seriously, isn’t that a little bit too much paranoia even for you?”

Never too much paranoia. Only too much trust easily given!

But as much as it pained me to even think about, I knew that the Nanozell spirit was right about the current circumstances.

“Do we have any schedule for the first day?”

A resort, especially one of Paraiso’s caliber surely had some plans for the guests in the very first day. Something to show how ‘great and awesome’ the place truly is.

“From what I could get from the website, there are games planned after lunch. You’re free before that.”

I sighed in relief. “I will take that mercy.”

Gali chuckled and glanced around the room himself. 

“Maybe you should take a shower?” The spirit suggested. “Freshen up for the ladies-”

He paused at my dull glance but I nodded. “I suppose a quick one isn’t much of an issue.”

And I really wanted to give my best impression for the first lunch. Not for ‘the ladies’, but as a general achievement for myself.

Taking a simple t-shirt and swimming trunk, I proceeded to enter the bathroom once more for that quick moment to recollect my thought, elaborate something to avoid Ambar’s meddling, and hopefully get a few topics to offer if anyone else decided to talk to me.

The shower box was big enough to house at least four people without creating any major space-induced discomfort. Once I was done undressing, I walked inside and right by the furthest corner.

From the very moment the water started to fall onto my hair and face, I couldn’t help but let out a visible shiver going down my spine, almost forgetting about the early burst of cold in normal showers. My discomfort was just temporary as soon I was granted warmth all over my body.

I cracked a smile, reaching for the shampoo I had brought with me and starting to apply it over my dark-brown hair. 

A sigh left my lips as I felt the pleasant mix of warmth and comfort out of that delightful shower time.

_Yep, this is bliss._

Humming as I went through with my usual scrubbing routine, my mind was so much taken by the showering that I didn’t hear the door of the bathroom opening again as someone walked inside the room.

I was almost done cleaning my hair when I felt a pair of hands settling softly by my shoulders. I panicked a little, but I didn’t jump at the touch.

With my now-wide eyes trying to understand who was behind me, the ‘intruder’ spoke.

“To think I would end up with the only human here at the resort. I guess I’m just… lucky~.”

The sultry last bit got a shiver out of me. The young woman giggled and I slowly turned to grace her with a shocked look…

Green eyes locked onto my brown ones and… I blinked.

“Hello there~”

[Hope Ravenhurst](https://i.ibb.co/zJMxZQ9/HopeKH.jpg) giggled again, and my face started to burn at how close she was… and at her state of undress.

The steam that had been created by the warm water just rendered the unexpected but alluring sight impossible for me to look away from.

“H-Hello.”

“So… I see that you’re already done with your hair… care to help me with mine?”

I was surprised at the brash request, but I found myself nodding without thinking much about it. Subconsciously, I was still recovering from the shock as my brain was trying its best to understand how it was possible that she was here and-

…Oh.

“Can we… talk?”

She hummed positively, passing me her own shampoo as she turned around and let me look at her wet hair.

Blinking at the odd predicament, I still forced myself to keep up a ‘calm’ look as I started to help her.

“You were given a key to this room?”

A nod. “Lady Ambar provided us all with the keys, saying that we had a surprise were waiting for us to discover,” She replied eagerly. “And I found you.”

Goddammit, I should’ve expected this degree of mind-games from Ambar but-

“Now it’s my turn,” Hope quipped giddily. “Let’s start with your name.”

I guess it’s only fair that I get questions too. Kind of awkward if this turned in a one-sided interrogation.

“I’m John, John Bukharin,” I greeted quietly.

“Hope Ravenhurst, but you can call me ‘Hope’, ‘Hopey’, ‘my last good hope’… but no puns. It’s a turn off after listening so many guys trying to start a conversation with that,” She introduced herself back. “And John… Can I call you Johnny?” 

“I thought it was my turn.” My response got a huff from the girl as she carefully started to wash her hair since I was done with applying the shampoo.

“Fine, go ahead, smartypants.”

I frowned at that comment, but I focused on the main issue first.

“Why… is this happening?”

She snorted, turning around as she was done with her hair. “You don’t like it?”

“Didn’t say that,” I answered readily. “It’s just… quite unexpected.”

“Oh, but I aim to be a surprise all the time.” The Prime offered a dazzling smile. “But I’m glad that I’m not being too pushy.”

“I don’t want to ruin… the moment, but I think we both have a mutual friend.”

A blink, her green eyes widened a small fraction. “Oh really? Which one?”

Now, how to break it to her that I’m best buddy with her first boyfriend?

“Uh… Shin.”

Brilliant move, brain.

_I’m sorry, boss!_

She tensed up at the sudden mention of the blond, but she seemed to relent quickly and sport a slightly nervous smile.

“Oh- Him.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“N-Nah, it’s alright just… quite sudden,” The young woman muttered with a nod.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be,” She finally huffed, taking a step forward and pressing her boobs on my chest. Now that got me to stop. I could feel her warm breath so close... “You’re… just confused. And now you got me confused.”

A quick giggle. “I guess we’re even with making the situation a confusing mess,” Hope muttered with faux cheerfulness.

I frowned, feeling like I dampened the steamy situation a little bit too much. I was still trying to decide what to do about this intimate moment.

...But then again, it’s not like I wouldn’t mind having some fun caused by Ambar’s meddling, it’s not like I would be violating that promise by indulging in this situation. Especially if said fun was partly owned by the lovely lady in front of me.

So I leaned down and closer to her face. Her bravado faltered a little at the sudden action, but I didn’t press for a kiss. Not yet, at least.

“I don’t think we’re even just yet, Hopey,” I almost snorted at that name, but she did and it was quite endearing as I got her to crack away from the brief moment of sadness. “I think, in fact, that I should ‘apologize’ a little. Perhaps by acts rather than words.”

She shivered at my tone, her green eyes glinting lustfully as I finally stole a brief peck at her waiting lips.

A smile returned on her lips, but it was a hungry one as soon she pressed for a lengthier and juicier kiss. I felt her tongue trying to get control of my mouth, but my own moved in to intercept the sudden intrusion.

Hope moaned at there was a clash of the two wet surfaces, my mind growing fuzzier the more I delved in that unexpectedly strong kiss.

Finally we took a break, our panting drown by the still-running shower behind us. I huffed and the young woman offered a cheeky smile.

“I think I might like this way of apologizing~.”

“Oh but… that is just the beginning,” I replied smugly, turning for a moment to turn off the water. “In fact, my lady, I was planning for a full course and… some talking on the side.”

Hope frowned. “More talking?”

“Not just the classic talking- I was referring to… some pleasant chatting about how you’re holding nowadays,” I replied with a calm tone, returning back close to her. “I might know very little about your relationship with Shin, but I’ve heard that you had some trouble getting in a stable relationship.”

“It’s… because of my fame,” She confessed. “Kind of hard to get chances with people fawning over Hope the singer. Or Hope the daughter of the Love Crest.”

“I bet you’re Hope the pervert, and if so I can assure you that she is by far my favorite.”

Her smile widened at that crass compliment. 

“And you have the sweetest silver tongue I’ve ever heard. I wonder if you lick as good as you talk~.”

“I think there’s one way to test this out,” I suggested. “And that is by testing the bed.”

“Maybe give ourselves a moment to dry up?” The young woman suggested with an amused tone. 

“Is that an attempt to hide the fact your tail is literally wagging.”

How the hell is it possible for a tail as fluffy as hers to be wagging as quickly as that. I was surprised, but this was the least of my concerns as the Gazelle Prime sighed in defeat and nodded.

“I guess we’ve no choice but go and test the bed.”

She seemed disappointed, yet her smile flared back as I pulled her in a bride-carry and led her out of the bathroom and back to the main suite.

A giddy ‘eep’ left her lips as she landed on the mattress, giggling as she rolled and made way for me to lie there too.

The dark-haired girl took a moment to sigh dreamily. “Holy fuck, the mattress is softer than I remember it being.”

“Not gonna lie… this is genuinely the softest bed I’ve ever been by,” I admitted with a nod, agreeing to her comment. “But I wonder if it’s sturdy enough for some serious fun.”

“I think we’re about to find out,” Hope mused as she lied down, spreading her legs and groping her bountiful breasts. “I’m really dripping down here.”

My smile twitched at the needy request, and I quickly moved to comply to her request.

Tensing up as I dived my face closer to her lower lips, Hope shivered a little as she felt my breath over her sensitive mounds. A moan finally escaped her mouth as I took a first lick, then another and soon I was busy with that delicious nectar.

But it was only when I started to give more attention to her clit that I got her meowling a little louder. My efforts were intense and continuous as I was unwilling in disappointing at this initial stage.

“Ahh~~” She breathed with some panting. “Don’t- mhh~- Don’t stop!”

It was about a while after we had started that I noticed her legs had slowly wrapped behind my head and were pushing me deeper in her groin. And I knew that it was a sign that she was close to climax.

So I decided to do the only sensible thing needed in these cases. I picked up the pace and intensified my licking.

Hopes _loved_ it, and I could notice her entire body twitch and tense up as she finally came. I just had the chance of blinking before I got drenched in her delicious nectar, and I had to restrain myself from keeping licking over her still-sensible entrance.

An unexpectedly calm sigh broke the brief silence and I felt the grasp of the girl’s legs ove _r_ my head lessen up… only to get pulled around and jumped on my the earnest Prime.

“You sure look… quite charged up and ready.”

“Oh, that was lovely,” She commented back with a giggle. “Like really, while it’s been a while since I got this much loving… that was amazing.”

“Now you’re the flatterer,” I dryly remarked.

“Nonsense! I refuse to let you go about this.” The girl pressed on with a serious tone. “You were flawless with that licking. You should be proud of it.”

I frowned. “I fail to see how that’s something to be actually proud about when-”

“Until you’re my buddy, that’s big points in my book,” Hope interjected sternly. “And- are we buddies, my buddy?”

Blinking at her, I couldn’t help but be amused by the way she was staring at me, so intensely, about friendship… while we were busy fucking.

“We... sure are buddies, Hopey.”

She grinned. “Good, then please lie there while I take care of Captain Stiffy over here.”

I groaned at the little pet name she gave to my length. I had been rocking a boner for a while now, and the fact that she was well-aware of the package she was now raptly staring at.

“What, too cheesy?”

“A little bit,” I answered quickly and her grin widened a little more.

“Well, too bad~.”

I was frowning at her when I felt the need of tensing up. Her tongue had been swift, starting from the bottom of the shaft right up to the tip. She ended with a little peck there as she glanced at the wet trail she had left, then she looked up at me with mirthful eyes.

“I’m so going to make you moan with this.”

“I’m not gonna lie, I want to moan with this,” I retorted and she pouted for a moment… before giggling again.

From there on, she started with mere licking. It wasn’t a process that lasted long as we certainly weren’t planning to delay the big event for too long, especially for a blowjob.

The Prime took a longer pause around the tip once she felt done with the licking, her tongue playing around there for a time and I felt twitching at that warm touch.

Her lips parted and I saw her slowly take in the entire erected mast, one inch at the time. My eyes were on her during the scene, a mix of awe and pleasure joining in with my predominantly dazed look as she expertly started to bob her head up and down.

The action was enough to send me in shivers, the pleasure building up steadily and without stopping. Finally a moan betrayed my attempt to hold onto that facade of sanity that I had over this situation.

This was just… so good~.

Stirring at her ministrations, I could already see by the cheeky glint by her eyes that Hope was enjoying the reaction she was getting on me.

“S-See? I-I’mmmh~ I’m mo-moaning~ already-!!”

Her pace intensified almost suddenly as she heard these words. 

Gone was the early slow-paced approach, as it was now replaced by a faster and fiercer speed.

I held back the wave of pleasure that came with it as much as I could, but she was determined and persistent, almost yearning to hear me moan more and more.

At this point, I was completely clueless how to handle this and I knew that I was getting close to orgasm myself. The girl knew it as well, and her bobbing went faster and faster… until she ultimately took it all and started to lick around it.

“I’m- I’m~”

I tensed up one last time and I came… a lot.

It was fairly intense considering how much attention my length had received, and Hope was there to happily gulp it down her throat.

I waited for a moment, my mind going a little bit blank for a while as I noticed the girl lifting her head off my now-wet mast, letting go of it with a single but noisy ‘pop’.

“How was it, Johnny?”

I blinked at her twice. “You… Not gonna lie, that was the best BJ I’ve ever got.”

“Now that’s a lie-”

“I ain’t lying!” I huffed with some irritation. “Like really, you’re not the only one that gets to be given proper compliments.”

“And now you consider this stuff an achievement?”

“Is it wrong if I’m lauding your undeniably legendary sex skills?” I asked back with a rhetorical tone. “Still, now I can’t help but see what will be of the main event.”

“Oh, I plan to take a slow but happy ride,” The Prime answered with a wide grin, settling her slit right on my shaft, pressing it flat by my stomach and prompting it to get erected once more. “It will be pleasant, it will be delightful… and it will be raw.”

She leaned a little bit down to stare at me. “Unless you need to tell me something about any-”

“I’m clean.”

“Good- actually no, this is brilliant,” Hope giggled as she stared down. “Then we can… begin~!”

Carefully lifting herself off from my groin, she adjusted my mast at the very entrance of her labia and… started to descend.

I stared, she stared and, as the girl finally reached the end, with our groins touching the closest possible, that’s when… I felt the need to smile in anticipation. 

“This is so going to be fun~”

That’s when Hope began moving and… my hips started to match with her pattern shortly after. It was pretty slow, just like she had mentioned early on, but the pace was steadily picking up the more thrusts happened.

“Ah~Ah~Ah~!” A moan, then two and… it keep going. 

I wasn’t much behind about it too as her bouncing up and down my length was enough to send my body in pure bliss. She was experienced, maybe a little more than I was, but her stamina was without any doubt one of the best I had the chance to have in a partner.

My hands were by her hips, keeping her posture stable as we went on and on with that joyride. But as soon as I was certain that we were stable enough, I had my right hand trail up to her boobs.

Twirling softly at her nipple, the girl vibrated giddily at my touch. More moaning, and our pace increased to a point were I started to have trouble elaborating logical thoughts. It was just so much… and so good. The surreal tightness, and the absurd warmth of her inner folds. 

It was just heavenly. I felt like I had struck gold! 

“D-Don’t- Don’t sto _oh~_ p!”

“I’m not-” I tried to say, pausing to let out a groan. “I a-ain’t planning on th-that~.”

The ordeal lasted for about twenty minutes. Or I… that’s what I could summarize it. It was a lengthy process, but not one as long as an hours.

The pace picked up even more, to a point where our hips were crashing onto each other and letting out lewd noises as my thrusting became quicker, faster… needier. Hope was on the same page, and she soon had torso leaning down and reaching to hug me close to her.

We were in that strange embrace, our heads resting in each other’s shoulders while we were coming close to the climax.

It was in that crescendo of pleasure that I felt my entire body going tense again, the Prime following me in that regard as I felt my load paint her inner walls white.

We stood tense for a while, just enough to let the powerful sensation that had consumed our minds settle down. 

There was silence, with only our panting breaths breaking the true resemblance of quiet.

…

Huffing a little, I saw the girl turning her head to me with a dizzy but happy look.

“T-That was- quite filling.”

“Y-Yeah,” I agreed with her with a smile as big as hers.

“You and I-” Hope didn’t continue from that point, only sighing in satisfaction.

I nodded and she snuggled by my shoulder.

“Do you… know what I’m thinking right now?”

Frowning at the strange question, I just needed a quick look at her lustful glance to know what she wanted to do now.

“Round 2?”

A giggle and… she lifted herself up from me, still having my full length deep inside of her.

“Round 2~.”

But Round 2 was just a small speck for what turned out to be a 4-hours session. She was relentless with her craving, but I wasn’t certainly holding back.

The lewdness that was exuding from our sweaty bodies, the primal desire to go on and on with that urge ended up only when we panicked over making it late for lunch.

We stopped right at half-an-hour before the scheduled meal, with the two of us rushing ‘slowly’ (our legs still sore from the intense fucking) but steadily to the bathroom and we took another shower together.

Despite how powerful the urge to try something ‘fun’ in there was, we managed to get through with a quick shower and put on some fresh clothes without any unplanned delays.

But just as we rushed out of the room and towards the dining area, I couldn’t help but feel like I was forgetting about something.

_** Or someone. ** _

_** While John was so much invested in not turning late for lunch with Hope keeping close, a certain Nanozell spirit ended up befriending a lovely lady himself, a fellow spirit that Hope herself was currently wondering about her whereabouts. ** _

\-------------d-d-d-d---------------d-d-d-d--------------d-d-d-d-------------d-d-d-d------------

** AN **

** First lemon, it’s kind of a testing ground. I hope ya’ll understand that the lemons aren’t centered around MC. **

** Think of it as free commissions within the story… but you need to give me a logical prompt to work on for these chapters.  **

_** And remember to specify the kinks. Those are, after all, the main bits we all should yearn for~ ** _

** Oh, hi Ambar- **

_** Don’t. I’m still irritated that you would delay the AN of this ‘story’ to ‘after’ Paraiso. I can’t just believe how cheap you can get. ** _

** Does it truly matter? **

_**...Not really, but I feel the need to be angry- and I can’t! Which is annoying! ** _

** I’m sorry? **

_** You’re not. Shut up. ** _

** Fun Fact: The chances of a couple made by a human and a Prime in conceiving a child are fairly close to 0. **


End file.
